Everyone wants to enjoy great friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationships. We can all think of people that are fun to be around and that make us feel better, but what is it that’s so attractive about them? In this post, we’ll dive into the science of attraction, and what the most attractive traits are so that you can work to help both others and yourself develop them.
What Do We Mean By Attraction?
When we say that someone is attractive in day-to-day life, we are usually referring to their physical characteristics. But when we talk about attraction in psychology, we’re more often referring to the characteristics they possess that make people want to be around them. While some of those characteristics can be physical, they’re more often social and emotional in nature. As we talk about attraction here, we’ll be referring more to the kind of attraction that makes a person a good friend or partner in the long-term – not physical attraction (though often the two end up going hand in hand).
Being Tuned In Is A Good Thing
According to a study by Raul Berrios and colleagues done in 2015, people who are tuned in to the emotions of others and work to create positive emotions in them are seen as more attractive. This is especially true of people who work to make their own emotions better as well. Basically, if you’re trying to improve the atmosphere in the room, people will like you more. (This probably doesn’t come as a surprise!)
The Benefits of Agreeableness
In personality psychology, ‘agreeableness’ refers to a person’s level of cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable people are generally seen as warm, sympathetic, kind, considerate, and engaging. Think of a person in your life that shows these characteristics. Do you enjoy being around them? For the vast majority of us, the answer is probably yes! We tend to gravitate towards agreeable people because they make us feel listened to, cared about, and understood.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Everyone wants friends and partners that they can trust. It doesn’t matter how pretty or handsome a person is if they’re a habitual liar – and eventually, that trait will come to the surface. When you’re honest about your feelings, situation, desires, and mistakes, you will earn the respect of others around you. And with respect and trust comes liking.
Make An Effort
Both men and women are attracted to people who are driven and work hard. One of the best ways to cultivate this characteristic is to find a skill or talent that you would like to develop and practice it. Whether that’s running a half-marathon, playing the violin, or learning a coding language, you’ll reap the benefits of learning something new and likely become more attractive as a friend and partner. It’s a win-win!
Don’t Forget Your Sense of Humor
Across the board, one of the most attractive traits in a person is a good sense of humor. When you can find a bright side in most situations and laugh at yourself a little, people are more likely to see you as the kind of person they want to be around. So don’t forget to have fun and enjoy life. You’ll reap the benefits of both healthier relationships and a healthier you.
What do you find attractive in a friend or partner? Leave a comment below!
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